Yeah, I know. Start a new blog. Be really great about updating it for two weeks. Then disappear.

What happened?

Got run over by that damn wagon again, of course.

Week before last, I went to a conference and, well, I wasn’t the least bit careful about what I ate, nor did I exercise. Of course, I convinced myself that that was okay because I was moving around a lot more than I normally do so that would make up for it. Right?


Stepped on the scale this morning and got a big ol’ wakeup call.

Of course, I might not have gained anything at the conference. Who knows? Because, well, it’s been a LONG time since I stepped on the scale.

Like most people, I hate the scale. I hate that it can determine my mood for the day. I hate that it can make me feel like I’m on top of the world or I’m a failure. I hate that it can make me feel super hot or super dumpy. And I hate that I let it have so much power over me.

For four years, I didn’t step on the scale except for the doctor’s office. Despite that, I was able to maintain my weight within 2-4 pounds due to healthy habits. It. Was. Awesome!

Then the wheels pretty much came off and my habit of not looking at the scale allowed me to be in denial about what was happening to my body. Even as I went up a size or two in my clothes, I could fool myself into believing that it wasn’t really THAT bad and obviously manufacturers had suddenly started making clothes smaller.

Stupid clothing manufacturers.

But today I decided it was time to face the music so I took a deep breath and stepped on the scale.

Was I disappointed in what I saw? Um, hellz yeah, I was. Since my father’s death in May of 2011, I have gained around 17 pounds. That sucks big donkey balls.

On the other hand, I suppose – given my impressive determination to eat whatever was placed in front of me over the last 18 months – it could have been a lot worse.

But you know what? I’m feeling okay right now. I think I need to learn to separate my emotions from the number on the scale. I need to think of it as a tool in this journey…something that gives me feedback on how I’m treating my body. Nothing more. It’s not the boss of me. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person if the number goes up or stays the same. I’m still ME no matter what the scale tells me that day. It’s just that some days, there may be more of me than others.

Easier said than done, I know. But like everything else in the process, it’s one day at a time.


This week’s weight loss goal: Two pounds

Progress toward goal: 0 pounds

This week’s workout goal: 5 days (2 cardio workouts, 3 strength workouts)

Progress toward workout goal:

Monday: Cardio – Step Tabata from Cathe Friedrich’s To the Max DVD